10 Ways To Be a Good Wife

If you don’t think that marriage is tough, you probably haven’t been married very long. Marriage doesn’t have to be difficult and it doesn’t have to be as much of a downer as your relatives warned you it would be when you got married, but that doesn’t mean it’s a breeze, either. Here are ten ways to be a good wife:

1. Say something when something is wrong.

Your husband or long-term partner isn’t a mind reader. If you don’t want to go to that restaurant, you have to tell him. If you are lashing out at him because you are stressed from work, you need to talk about that stress, rather than just letting it build up inside you until you are so frustrated that you lose control. If you’re in a bad mood, it’s much better to tell him what’s causing your bad mood, rather than to just let him wonder. Not talking about what’s going wrong in your life or in your relationship leads to resentment.

2. Talk about issues before they become rough patches.

Not every marriage has to go through rough patches, if you take the time to talk about issues before they have the opportunity to become real problems. Speaking up before a small problem becomes a huge one is extremely necessary. Whether you are moving and you know that you are going to get stressed out and frustrated or his family is coming and you’re afraid his mom is going to pick on your like she always does, voicing your concerns and expectations before they come to fruition can help keep you two close and stamp out a fight long before there is anything to fight about.

3. Switch up your Netflix routine.

If you spend a lot of time sitting on your couch watching Netflix, it might be time to rethink your evening routine. Why not try doing something that gets you two talking, instead of just staring blindly at a screen (though if you both love movies and you spend your evenings watching and discussing a movie or show, that’s different than just watching blankly). Find ways to connect with the person you want to spend your life with. Boredom leaves opportunity for unwanted scenarios to transpire.

4. Make a point to thank him for what he does for you.

Even a handy guy who feels accomplishment from fixing the sink likes to hear that you appreciate his efforts. If he is the breadwinner in the family, all that time away from you is hard on him. Thanking him for his sacrifice (instead of blaming him for his absence) is a game changer. This will train you both to be more appreciative of one another.

5. If you want something done your way, be willing to do it yourself.

No guy likes to help out around the house and then be criticized because he didn’t do it exactly how you wanted it to be done. If you have to have the house dusted a particular way or the mail organized just so, do those things yourself or learn to get over it if he doesn’t do things exactly how you do them. It’s much better to just do something yourself rather than to resent someone else for doing it “wrong.”

6. Have a conversation about the state of your marriage.

Even if you think that everything is going great, it’s still necessary to take some time to talk to one another. Voicing your fears, dreams, and expectations, as well as discussing the current state of your relationship is key to evolving and growing together. Having goals and plans for your relationship and working together on them as partners is only possible if you have these conversations.

7. Understand that he’s his own person.

No matter how much you love him, he’s going to do things that annoy you, no matter how many times you tell him that they annoy you. He’s not a project and he’s not your son. Your goal shouldn’t be to mold him or improve him. If you married him because you thought you could somehow “fix” him, you’re just going to resent him. You are two separate people, with your own quirks. Understanding that you can both love him and occasionally be annoyed by him is an important part of keeping your relationship strong.

8. Don’t badmouth him to your friends.

Sometimes, it can be fun to get together with your friends and complain about your husbands and boyfriends, but you might find, if this happens too often, that you are actually looking for ways to be annoyed by him. While it’s fine to mention that it’s a little annoying that he doesn’t put his breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, turning girls’ nights into bash sessions of your significant others is a good way to drive a wedge in between you and your partner.

9. Get interested in his interests.

You don’t have to love football, but you could still spend a little time educating yourself about his favorite team and how the game works so that you two can still have a conversation about it. Make an effort to show an interest in what he’s interested in. He’s sure to love and appreciate it!

10. Note his strengths.

He has a lot of people in his life- his boss, his parents, his friends— telling him what he doesn’t do well. He might even be too hard on himself and refuse to acknowledge what he does well. A great wife and partner goes out of her way to acknowledge what her partner does well. Paying him regular compliments, on his actions and looks, will boost his ego and ignite your attraction to one another!