{"id":715,"date":"2016-06-22T19:39:23","date_gmt":"2016-06-22T19:39:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/copebetter.com\/?p=715"},"modified":"2017-11-23T02:29:35","modified_gmt":"2017-11-23T02:29:35","slug":"survivor-guilt-how-to-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/copebetter.com\/survivor-guilt-how-to-help\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Survivor Guilt and How To Help Those Who Suffer From It"},"content":{"rendered":"
On June 12, 2016, a gunman killed 49 people and injured 53 others<\/a> inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, FL. The gunman\u00a0was killed by Orlando police after a three-hour standoff. It was the deadliest mass shooting by a single gunman in the U.S., and the deadliest incident of violence against LGBT people in the U.S. The massacre was widely denounced both as an act of terrorism and a hate crime.*<\/p>\n Of the 53 people that survived<\/a>, many are now experiencing what’s known as survivor guilt.<\/p>\n Survivor guilt<\/a> is best described as\u00a0a mental condition that occurs when a person perceives themselves to have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not.<\/p>\n The\u00a0survivor may feel guilty in response to events<\/a> that happened during the trauma, such as what s\/he did or did not do, what s\/he did or did not say, or maybe becoming paralyzed with fear in the moment. \u00a0It is also common for survivors to experience guilt in connection with other survivors and\/or for those who suffered more or perished. For example, a survivor may feel guilty if another victim saved them or prevented harm in some way, especially if these actions involved another person becoming harmed or dying as a result of heroic actions. Feeling guilty for not saving other victims or feeling guilty for not doing enough to help others during the event can also be experienced by survivors, even if there was no opportunity to rescue.<\/p>\n Survivor guilt can weight heavily on the human spirit. Feeling guilty is a common theme among survivors of trauma and helps facilitate the healing process, although other feelings may also come up.<\/p>\n Survivor guilt can be a difficult condition to process and understand<\/a>. \u00a0How could and why would\u00a0someone feel guilty for being alive? \u00a0Despite how foreign this concept may seem to some, it is a real feeling suffered by all types of people, regardless of age, sex, ethnicity, or race.<\/p>\n Patience Carter<\/a>, a victim\u00a0of the Pulse Nightclub massacre, eloquently wrote about her feelings of being a survivor within days of the tragic event.\u00a0<\/strong>She described feelings of guilt in addition to feeling relieved, yet cautious in expressing her feelings on survival,\u00a0writing<\/a>\u00a0the following:<\/p>\n “The guilt of being alive is heavy. Wanting to smile about surviving, but not sure if the people around you are ready. As the world mourns, the victims killed and viciously slain, I feel guilty for screaming about my legs in pain. Because I could feel nothing like the other 49 who weren’t so lucky to feel this pain of mine. I never thought in a million years that this could happen. I never thought in a million years my eyes could witness something so tragic.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Encapsulating the complexity of survivorship, Patience Carter described a spectrum of emotion and unique bind inherent within survivor guilt. \u00a0In her poem,\u00a0we hear the feelings of conflict.<\/p>\n As a survivor, she\u00a0questioned the space for her own experience, feeling unsure if having a voice about her own experience was OK\u00a0because other victims (and their loved ones) had it worse. As the audience, we hear the comparisons in her poem. \u00a0Patience goes on to say:<\/p>\n “The guilt of feeling lucky to be alive is heavy. It’s like the weight of the ocean’s walls crushing uncontrolled by levies.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This is a beautiful illustration\u00a0of\u00a0the weight of surviving.<\/p>\n There are two key points to consider when attempting to identify if someone is suffering from survivor guilt.<\/p>\n The event could be the most recent terror attack, such as the Orlando nightclub shooting. \u00a0The event could be returning from war, becoming a refugee, surviving a school shooting or being a survivor of the 9\/11 attacks. \u00a0Surviving any type of event that would be considered an extraordinary event is a precursor to survivor guilt.<\/p>\n With survivor guilt, it is common to\u00a0observe a difference in the survivor’s demeanor and\/or actions. \u00a0You may notice small to fairly significant changes in behavior, with the most common signs and symptoms of survivor guilt being as follows:<\/p>\n I want to emphasize that change in mood, a sense of disbelief or guilt about the traumatic event, an increase in insomnia, nightmares, isolating behavior, verbally or mentally reliving the event and\/or expressing guilt about surviving the event are normal<\/strong><\/em>. These symptoms are indicators of survivor guilt and are highest immediately after a traumatic event<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n It’s OK\u00a0for you to show concern for the survivor in your life, especially if you witness s\/he experiencing these symptoms of survivor guilt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Survivor guilt is a normal experience for survivors and within time can resolve on its own, with symptoms decreasing in frequency and intensity. So, how can you help?<\/p>\n To help support a survivor through survivor guilt follow these tips.<\/p>\n If you have questions regarding how to help someone in you life, contact me<\/a>. \u00a0I’m here to help.<\/p>\n *Wikipedia – https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/2016_Orlando_nightclub_shooting<\/em><\/p>\n On June 12, 2016, a gunman killed 49 people and injured 53 others inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, FL. The gunman\u00a0was killed by Orlando police after a three-hour standoff. It was the deadliest mass shooting by a single gunman in the U.S., and the deadliest incident of violence against LGBT people in the…<\/p>\nWhat is survivor guilt?<\/h2>\n
How to know if someone has survivor guilt<\/h2>\n
1. The person has been through a traumatic event.<\/h3>\n
2. Since surviving the traumatic event, you see a change in behavior.<\/h3>\n
\n
How to help support someone with survivor guilt<\/h2>\n
\n